shit we say
i don’t know i feel weird today.. i feel weird like that day at the park staring at that ice mountain bottle filled with future repressed memories. bombay gin… except today i have a different poison its mother natures finest. it sucks feeling this way because yeah the novelty and laughs are fun but they wear off quicker when noone else is there. my lights are off im sitting in my room waiting to consume this next batch that will hopefully keep me off this haunting predicament. Where are my friends? what series of events makes me this fucked up person who pushes people away. I think its just the times where i lost really good friends to circumstance rather than to my selective nature and bitterness. Maybe im protecting myself from these future friends. I just dont want to experience it. loss..
when you have it its golden you feel alive and invincible its not love but friendships. when its gone you despise it.
I miss friends not just particular people which i sorta do but just the idea of friends.
time to consume the night and grasp on to the time i have left.
